Comparison Kills By Sabrina Santiago
Ever watched or looked on TV, YouTube, Instagram, Facebook and thought,
Man, I wish I looked like her.
Have you ever read a women’s blog online on how successful her career and dreams began so rapidly and it left you thinking and feeling a certain way about your own personal goals and achievements?
Or how about when a friend of yours is offered so many great opportunities, especially in her ministry, and succeeds in pretty much everything she does and you can’t seem to grasp the concept of why that isn’t you.
We all have thought or felt at least one of these things in our life time.
If anything, more now than ever.
I’ve noticed in today’s society, we allow ourselves to be vulnerably controlled by horrible jealously and obsessive competitiveness toward women we know and their success.
Noticed I said,
“women we know and their success.”
I’m not only referring to the woman’s achievements in that line.
I’m speaking about two separate matters here. The woman and her success.
Jealousy, envy, competition and comparison are number one prominent factors that will destroy you as a woman spiritually.
It will ruin your walk, your relationships, the way you view and feel about yourself, but more importantly, keep you from doing what God is calling you to do.
Never allow that to be a hold over your mind or in your heart.
It will not enable you to move forward in the great plans He has in store for you at all. Instead, it will slowly backtrack you in an opposite direction.
That is where it can become dangerous.
Young women constantly message me on Instagram asking for tips and spiritual advice and I absolutely love nothing more but to help them.
I was asked a while back by a sweet young girl who truly desired to stop comparing herself and competing for someone else’s season that wasn’t hers. She explained to me that she was jealous of someone that was succeeding in a specific field that she desired and it left her feeling insecure about herself.
She said the only way she felt better, in defense, was by trying to do exactly everything that women was doing and possible more. She knew that what she was feeling and doing was not right in God’s eyes.
I remember that day just sitting outside reading her message with so many thoughts racing through my head.
Like I can just imagine how she could have been speaking it to me.
It broke my heart tremendously just comprehending her words.
The reason for it was because I knew that what she was explaining was raw honesty, but at the same time it was untrue about how she was seeing herself.
It broke my heart because I knew she wasn’t the only girl going through that.
So many are.
I remembered I prayed for her before even typing a letter and I gave her some insight and suggestions and after a few weeks, she messaged me back one morning and told me that she finally understood what I meant by allowing God to fill the empty void inside of her. She explained that she never knew what I meant by that until she disconnected from everything and just allowed God to completely work on her.
As she said, “He healed me!”
I truly felt such a joy for her when she updated me but it was all God and
I give all glory to him for it!
Our God can do anything and everything! There is nothing he cannot do!
He is so good, guys.
Referring back to that story, we all have been there before. We all want to be beautiful to others, especially to men, and we all want to be successful in everything. We are absolutely all of those things and far more!
But the reality is, we all don’t look the same, we all will not be able to do or become the same exact things in this life or in our ministry/callings.
I’m not trying to sound like a dream crusher or a negative Nancy, but I can’t sugar code a direct statement.
It’s all in his plan and you’ll see why.
God has given each and every one of us a specific purpose and a specific mission to accomplish in this amazing life.
Our mission, our purpose, our season in this life is not the same as everybody else’s and that’s okay because that is what makes His unique plan for our lives line up perfectly.
Their season is not your season and
your season is not their season.
With that being said, we cannot be jealous of another sister’s season whether it’s what we think we deserve or not.
It is sin, period.
Trying to be someone else will never ever fulfill the empty void inside of you.
The only one who can fill that empty void is our God. It sounds cliché, but it is so so true, guys.
Our mighty, wonder working father is the only one who can take away all imperfections and replace it with his perfect love! He gives beauty for ashes, and the oil of joy for mourning.
He is our healer, He is our redeemer, He is a miracle worker, He is Jehovah Jireh,
He is our protector, He is our provider,
He is King of Kings and Lord of Lords,
He is able! That is OUR God!
I know this was a lot but what I’m trying to say is that you guys don’t realize that us women are so powerful and we need to stay unified together!
We are loved, cherished, adored and far more valuable than precious rubies in the eyes of God.
Proverbs 3:15 (KJV)
“She is more precious than rubies: and all the things thou canst desire are not to be compared unto her.”
How powerful is that scripture?
To know that we are more precious than priceless red minerals and incomparable to man! Seriously girls, don’t you know that we are enough? We are loved, cherished and valued so greatly by God! There is absolutely no need to feel any kind of ill way toward your sisters!
A confident women knows who she is in the eyes of God and knows that even though her season isn’t right now, she will still submit, she will still show love to others, she will still be a witness, she will still tell of His goodness, she will still show his glory, she will trust in Him with her whole heart and she will wait patiently for His perfect will in her life because
His plans and His timing is
perfect in every way.
A lot of times women wonder why they aren’t doing the things they’ve always desired and think that comparing and competing will get them what they want when that is not true at all. It’s okay to admire certain women, but do not let that mislead you from the perfect plan he has lined up for you. Do not try and force yourself into something she might be doing all because you saw her succeed in it and want to feel a sparkle of that which is not yours. You are probably reading this thinking there isn’t anything ahead of you because you are not living in it yet and that is what I am talking about exactly.
Just because you arent seeing it now, doesn’t mean there isn’t anything ahead for you. Trust God for your season.
The Bible says that without faith it is impossible to please him, for those who come to God must come believing that He is and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him (See Hebrews 11:6).
It’s coming! Allow this time to be fully focused on Him, on his word, in prayer, in fasting, witnessing, teaching, searching for more etc..
Trust me, His promises still stand and they never ever fail. He’s preparing you right now for everything he’s wanting you to do and where to go.
You just got to trust and believe❤️
This beautiful Labor Day morning I challenge you to take a second right where you are at and honestly examine yourself.
Are you forcing a season that isn’t yours?
Are you unnoticeably allowing your flesh to vulnerably control your heart and mind with feelings that aren’t of God?
Are you trying to compare yourself in looks or achievements amongst other women?
We are not perfect, and our flesh can get the better of us at times, but I think it is so so important to tackle these things as soon as possible.
True confidence comes from God alone.
It’s when you fully know your worth in Him and know that His purpose for your life is incomparable to anything this world has to offer. It’s knowing that we are fearfully and wonderfully made and that we are enough.
I encourage you all to set time out of your day today, whether you’re relaxing on your couch this no-work day, or getting off this afternoon, talk to God about whatever it is you need Him to do in your life.
If you need him to reveal your calling then ask him for his confirmation. If you need him to show you the path he has for your life then ask him for direction. If you need to know if a door opened is meant for you then ask for wisdom.
He will speak to you whether it’s through others, in your ear, in your mind, in your discernment or in His word.
When you are faithful to him He is faithful to you!
Keep pushing, girls!
We are one together!
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