When I said “I Do” to my husband there was more of a commitment than the vows we said to one another. There was a commitment I made to his ministry. A commitment that would result in a lot of tears, a lot of sacrificing, and just pure exhaustion but a commitment I wanted to make. His ministry became OUR ministry. I prayed that God would give me a burden just as strong as his for the things he was passionate about. I prayed that God would equip me with everything I needed to be able to adequately serve alongside him. Many days I still don’t feel worthy of the calling on our lives but I embrace it and trust God knows what He is doing!
My husband during the beginning of our relationship was always involved in the jail and nursing home ministry. His love and passion for kingdom work is what drew me to him in the first place I always admired those qualities about him. I knew what I was signing up for when I agreed to marry him. Low and behold 6 months into our marriage we were made student pastors and have been student pastors ever since. There have been many ups and downs to the ministry we have but I have loved every moment of it. It’s taught me so much and we will discuss those life lessons in another blog post.
In today’s blog I want to talk on a recent balance in my life that was a tipping point of my sanity it seemed. It’s not that I wanted to go crazy or just absolutely lose my mind but it was a showcase of the balance that we as very busy wives with many roles have to find.
Recently, my husband was volunteered to be the director of an Easter production at our church. Being something, our church just planned in January and nothing our church had never done to this magnitude, we realized that it was going to be a challenge. As the days drew closer to the Easter production and fundraisers were beginning, I could see the stress it would place on my husband.
With him trying to manage his job, youth group, family and so much more I knew I would have to play a supporting role. In the background I would always be there encouraging him and sticking by his side as it got even tougher. The week of the play had arrived and the stress was horrendous. Not to waste much time going into detail but it was difficult getting everyone to practice, funds were short, and energy was low.
It was nothing for my husband to go to work all day, after work head to the church and work until midnight for him just to get back up at 6:00 AM the next morning and do it all over again. Our time together as husband and wife, our family time, and our friendship was growing scarce.
Meanwhile, I had my own outside stresses to factor in. It was difficult trying to keep up with a one year old at 37 weeks pregnant and work my own full-timejob. It was hard on me even though my husband tried to help me as much as he could, to know he was just as tired as I was and under just as much stress.
Knowing he was putting in all these extra volunteer hours I knew I had to go back to my commitment. No matter the cost, no matter the sacrifice, no matter the weariness I had to stay true to my cause. I had to find the balance and find ways to encourage him and squeeze some family time in.
I needed to make sure he left the house feeling like he could slay giants and concur anything that day threw his way! I began to encourage him every morning. I began offering my help with anything he needed etc. And most importantly I prayed for him. That was the greatest support I could ever give. Let’s fast forward to Easter Sunday, the play that we had worked months on was a huge success and if we had to do it all over again, we’d do it in a heartbeat!
Now I have said all that to bring us to this point. In life and ministry, the hardest thing to do is balance. Without balance one or the other will fail. Yes, you can never have too much family time but without time in ministry that ministry will die. Yes, too much time in ministry and the family will fall apart. There must be a balance that keeps everything in life level. However, there will be times things will seem to lean farther than the other. That is where we as Christian wives must step in and be the counter balance until things level off again. As an encourager, I don’t want to add to your plate or overwhelm you with MORE to do rather I want to help you become aware of the little things you can incorporate in your normal routine that can help make yours and your family’s day brighter.
Those moments I would just come by as he was working at the church to bring him supper or times that I would wait until he got home just to speak to him a few minutes until he fell asleep, those were the balance efforts. Unfortunately, not everything in life is perfect and not everything in ministry is perfect but we can always strive together as a couple to manage the hard moments in life.
Find the balance together through the stressful moments, painful endearments, and unforeseen circumstances! Never give up on the balance because what weighs in the scale’s matters!
Proverbs 18:22 ESV
He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.
Proverbs 19:14 ESV
House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord
Proverbs 31:10 ESV
An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.
Written by Mandy Bowen